How Xbox Live Helped Me Go Outside

Just a few years ago, I was pretty much a shut-in. The clinical term is agoraphobia, but for the people around me, it looked a lot like being a hermit. I hated going anywhere. Something as simple as going to the grocery store took days of mental preparation to psych myself up for the task. In the middle of the store, I would break out in a sweat. My face would feel like it was on fire and I always had the urge to ditch my purchase and run as fast as I could for the door. My family thought I was crazy because I always insisted on getting a cart, even if I just needed one item that I could easily carry in my hands. The truth was, I just needed something to hold on to. Something to hide behind.

The sudden need to go out, like getting a call that my child needed picked up from school, was terrifying. My lungs would feel like I had just run a 10k and my limbs would suddenly feel boneless.

Along with the agoraphobia was the fear of talking to anyone who wasn’t in my immediate friends and family circle. I would hit the reject button on my phone faster than you could blink if I thought the caller was anyone outside of my circle. You can imagine how well this strategy works when you have an office job.

I distinctly remember my boss berating me at my job as a graphic designer because I didn’t pick up the phone and call my supervisor to ask…